By Marlo Garner | Children’s Book Editor
Recently, I was involved in an interesting discussion on the Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI) listserv. One member asked a whether a character’s thoughts—also called interior discourse—should be denoted by quotation marks, no quotation marks, or by italics.
When I edit, I let the context and target audience dictate quotation marks or no quotation marks. If it’s a dialogue-heavy text, I use no quotation marks for internal discourse. If it’s a work for younger kids, then I suggest quotation marks for thoughts. If it’s MG or YA, I’d generally go with no quote marks.
The Chicago Manual of Style, the industry standard for fiction editing, states*:
Thought, imagined dialogue, and other interior discourse may be enclosed in quotation marks or not, according to the context or the writer’s preference.
For example:
“I must fly south for winter,” thought Little Bird, “or else I will surely die.”
Or:
It’s as cold as Antarctica, mused Little Bird, but I am not a penguin.
That these are Little Bird’s thoughts is clear, whether quotation marks are used or not. Clarity is what we must aim for.
The Chicago Manual of Style is silent on the use of italics to denote interior discourse. But, many people do use italics, and I’m sure we all know published books in which italics are used in this manner.
Here’s an example I often use in my writing classes, from Michael Sussman’s fabulous picture book, Otto Grows Down (Illus. Scott Magoon, Sterling 2009), in which the interior discourse is italicized.
I love this rattle, Otto thought. Why does Anna get to have it?
But then in this book, as in so many picture books, typography is used in exciting ways throughout to add visual interest, design flare, and emphasize certain text.
But—and this is the main reason for this post—I think there’s really more to discuss here.
Often, there may be a more seamless way to convey what a character is thinking, without resorting to what may at times be a rather clunky use of interior dialogue and dialogue tags that may tend to toward verbosity such as pondered, considered, speculated, conjectured, and so forth.
Let’s look at some randomly chosen examples from my bookshelf. From Judy Moody #1 by Megan McDonald, Candlewick Press 2000:
“ROAR!” said Judy.
She would have to get used to a new desk and a new classroom. Her new desk would not have an armadillo sticker with her name on it, like her old one last year. Her new classroom would not have a porcupine named Roger.
From Running Out of Time by Margaret Peterson Haddix, Simon & Schuster 1999
Jessie didn’t think it was fair that she still had to wear Hannah’s old clothes. Jesse was an inch taller. It wasn’t her fault Hannah was fatter. But people in Clifton didn’t care about a girl’s ankle showing a little. She’d heard Ma and the other women say it was a scandalous thing back east, but on the frontier people had other things to worry about.
In each of these examples, it is clear these are the protagonist’s thoughts. When writing in first person or limited third person there’s really no necessity to present thoughts as dialogue. Everything that comes to the reader comes through the viewpoint character’s Point of View.
But, there are certainly times that using interior discourse will add weight to the thought and to the moment. Here’s an (italicized!) example from The Maze Runner by James Dashner (Delacorte Press, 2009) which comes at a pivotal moment.
Thomas looked back at his captors, feeling awkward but desperate to ask questions. Captors, he thought. Then, Why did that word pop into my head?
When conveying a character’s thoughts, do consider saving actual interior discourse for those pivotal moments. And whatever you choose—quotation marks, no quotation marks, italics—be consistent throughout the text, and always make your choice based on overall clarity. If your manuscript is acquired, the publisher will adjust the style according to what best suits the book and their house style.
* Chicago Manual of Style, 16th Edition, Point 13.41, The University of Chicago Press 2010
***************************
About the Author
MARLO GARNER has been editing books and teaching writing since the late 1990s. She teaches Writing for Children’s Books (picture books), Writing Chapter Books for Children, and various other writing and revision workshops. She also works in an editorial advisory capacity, and a copyeditor and illustrator for a number of independent or educational publishers.